I reject your reality and substitute my white knuckles

When I was in my twenties, way back in the nineteen hundred and nineties, relativism ruled supreme. That is to say, if one voiced their opinions and beliefs you'd be met with a response something like this...

"Oh, so you're into cheese? Well sure, cool if that works for you."

At the time I remember feeling very frustrated that whatever you believed didn't have to be reality as long as you believed it was true. Don't worry about facts, truth was "relative" and it was all about what helped you as an individual. Good, bad, black or white. It was all relative to the person.

As many will tell you, the events of 9-11 changed that forever.

For the first time in a long time the western world decided that "bad", or in George W Bush's case "evil", was an absolute. "Good" similarly was definable, facts were solid and truth was truth. In the period since then, though a few weird things have happened. Specifically, what has happened in many areas of society is things have been "redefined". Between political correctness, social reform and a number of movements of minority groups, truth and fact seem a lot harder to pin down than ever before.

Amongst all this we've seen all manner of things change over just the last 20 years.

A "Family" used to be defined as a man and woman and their children. Now family is defined as a any number of people, children or not, and may or may not include pets. Gender similarly used to be pretty straight forward. You were either male or female. Now, even identifying someone's gender can be taken as an insult or a judgement. The state of romantic relationships is similar. Recently I heard a woman in her early 20s say her group of friends found questions about marital status rude and inappropriate. Which points to the fact that marriage is one of many sort of relationships that now exist within our society.

These definitions are what we considered, at the time, to be the basic "truths" about people and our community. Lately though, facts and definitions surrounding all of these things have consistently shifted, especially over the last 10 years.

Additionally, knowing the new definitions is not enough. Before 9-11 we had relative truths. Everyone had their own "truth" and that was enough. After 9-11, the truths were still personal, but all of sudden they'd began to solidify. It seems now as if "truth" is both personal, absolute but also unable to co-exist with others. So discussions have started to get one of two extremes...

Positively

"Oh, so you're into cheese. Me too. Cheese is soooo awesome! 

Everyone should like cheese!"

Or Negatively

"Oh, so you're into cheese. Cheese is wrong. 

I'm so angry about the way it comes from cows. 

You should be angry about it too!"

In certain places I'd have to warn people I was about to use the word "cheese" just in case it "triggered" them. So every truth is held with white knuckles and others' truths are by their very existence threatening. Which is where everything gets kind of interesting.

Which is why I laughed when people got upset about, "alternative facts". One "truth" that's been obscured over the last 10 years is the way many basic facts have been subtly shifted further and further away from their starting point. New "alternatives" have been raised up the flag pole as the standard "truth" over and over again.

Don't hear me saying I want to enforce my own "truth" on other people. Rather, what I'm trying to think through is the way we should process ten years of "alternative facts". I'm also keen to see people release their white knuckle grip in the name of listening to others. Even if just in respectful disagreement.

I tell you, it's got me thinking.